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where we shit on them on or pump them up!
by Joe
Dang It! Easily one of the funniest movies of this year. When Uncle
Rico tells Kip about how great a football player he was then launches a
piece of steak at Napoleon on the bike, I almost shit myself. Watch this
fucker! I give it 2 big toes up! Way up!
V: The Final Battle
If you get past the crappy ships (which look like they could fall off their
strings and out of the sky at anytime), the derivative storyline, the terrible
dialogue, outlandish action scenes, overbearing Holocaust-connection,
laughable special effects, horrible acting, and the never-ending 4 1/2
hour running time, its not bad.
1 big toe up!
V
Well I have to review this just having done "the Final Battle". Actually
this first installment is like the second, minus the action. However, the
scene in which Diana eats a mouse and it badly cuts away to a terrible
looking puppet-Diana with Man Hands shoving the mouse in her mouth,
is fucking hilarious. We must've rewound that scene and watched it like
15 times in a row.
3/4 big toe up!
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Its not good. But its weird. Is this some sort of future past? What the
hell is going on here? Jude Law, is some pilot guy in the 1930s of the
future and he's fighting some robots and shit. Gwyenth Paltrow was
running from these giant robot things on the street and looking up at
them for like half an hour. She's like the Lois Lane of your nightmares.
And its all fake-looking. And on top of this you have Angelina Jolie
dressed and acting like a dude. What the shit is this?
Zero Toes.
Envy
Jack Black and Ben Stiller, sounds fucking funny right? Wrong. It
blows! I am 2 hours closer to death.
They owe me a toe.
Anchorman
Its got some laughs but I don't know how it made like $90 Million.
The stupid weatherman actually sucks and isn't even as funny as our
own Agent OD McCrack from our "Attack of the Patula". And we didn't
have Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Jack Black helping us
out. Much like Bruce Almighty, starts out alright then these bastards call
the rest of the movie in from their mansions after the first check cleared.
1/2 a big toe.
Keep coming back here. We'll have Steve's reviews
here too soon.
